Question...

Just received an e-mail questioning:

Why do you feel you are the right candidate for this role?

How do you answer that question, when your heart telling you that you don't want to take the role...??

*sigh...sigh...siiiiiiggggghhhhh*

Sempurna...

Hi, sekarang gue lagi seneng ama lagunya Andra & The Backbone yang judulnya SEMPURNA, sampe2 tu lagu gue jadiin nada sambung HP gue, ringtone HP gue, masukin ke ipod gue, masukin ke W830 gue...and yang terakhir udah 2 hari nih lagu gue ulang2 terus di ITunes gue ampe2 temen sekantor gue pada teriak2.....karena udah gak tahan dengerin nih lagu terus gue ulang2..hahahahahaha.....

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

*
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Reff:
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begituSempurna.. Sempurna..

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku
Back to *

dashyaaaattttt syairnya......huehuehue.... mantap emang nih si Andra & The Backbone!! salute!!
yang paling gue suka dari nih lagu petikan gitarnya itu loh...gak kuaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttsssssssssss!!!! secara dari dulu gue pengen bisa main gitar... :( :( :( tapi gak pernah kesampaian....

ps: gue tulis blog ini sembari denger lagu ini loh... sempurna...sempurna...janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku...

My Deepest Thought

Dear S****,

For last couple of days I have been having this thought, and also been re-think and re-think again about this GBS Impact.

Based on our last conference call with T**** that our team will have cost reduction around 12%, and this has been always inside my mind and I want to let it out and talk about this to you since you are my boss.

In my opinion the best way to fulfill this 12% reduction will be cutting some of the managers that we had, and the best choice will be I—myself and another manager (W**). I know that you’d be surprise because of this and if you ask why? Then my answer is purely to get along with the GBS goal.

I know that you would think that what happen if me is not in the team anymore? What will happen to the business? I aware of that, and to convince you that I trust my team with their capability that they’ve shown to me for this last couple of years and they have never disappointed me in the terms of their responsibility to the job. And I believe that they are ready if they will be given the bigger responsibility in the future.

Please don’t think that, this thought of me will be such like a runaway from my responsibility because the only reason why I want to do this is: that logically the best reduction will come from the manager’s side (and as you know and aware the biggest costs comes from me and W**).

Once again, I’d been considering this thought over and over again, and I really-really realize that if this happen I’d already prepare my “big heart” to accept the decisions with my open arms.

Hope this could give you as an insight for the difficult decision in this GBS Impact.

All the best !!

Very kind regards,
A****

Ps: this thought is based on my Scenario 2 that I have sent you in my previous e-mail.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Hi A****,
Thankyou for your heart felt thoughts. I do appreciate these and that you have such consideration for your team. That is the sign of a good leader to me. I do also appreciate how hard these decisions are. My thoughts right now are that at times of such change the business needs leaders like you who can make that change but also care about our people. My preference and what I and T**** are working on is for you to continue to lead this team forward and to keep as many of the team as possible. We will fight very hard for this. We will keep you informed as we go through the process.

Kind Regards
S****
___________________________________________________________________________________

Well.... totally I don't really know am I a good leader (just like my Boss said) or not, or maybe he said in order to make me calm and feel comfort... to be honest until now--and i don't know when it will end--my feeling stays the same that is: feel insecure and burdened. :(

My friend said: in such a short time you are truly have had experience as what the leader have, you had become staff person, you had interviewed person, and now you have to fire persons (* damn!! the last one is the one that I actually don't want to do it!!).

That's why I wrote above e-mail to my Boss, to convince him that the better way to have the reduction is cutting me all the way instead of cutting my team...but the decission is not purely in me... :( :( :(

Well this is the reality of life...accept and live with it..!!

Suzi...

Alooo....long time no see..here i am again.. :)

Sekarang gue mau cerita kejadian yang...apa ya...dibilang aneh...gak aneh juga karena ini udah gue harap2in terjadi dari sejak gue jadian yang pertama kali...

Jadi gini..gue sering berpikir.."how do we know that the girl that we dreamed about is ready to be with us in every condition..in happiness or in sadness"...well i have my own parameter to consider which one is the right girl.. :)

All of a sudden two days ago..i went home so very late with her...and suddenly i don't know where it came and how that happened...my Suzi had flat tyre... :( :( secara itu udah jam 1/2 12 malem..bingung dong nyari tukang ban...dan disebelah loe ada cewek yang mau bonceng..tengsin...super tengsin yang ada euy... :(

Tapi....you know what...not even a little expression from her face that showing a gloomy or be-te face karena harus nemenin dorong si Suzi..dan ditengah perjalanan nyari dokter buat Suzi gue she kept on telling me story of her life, office life, etc.etc....wow i am so happy..pastinya...karena sejak dari dulu gue ngarepin kejadian flat tyre ini terjadi...tapi kok dilalah ternyata kejadiannya pas lagi jalan ama dia..hehehe...still gue don't know is she the one..but at least satu parameter yang gue tetepin dia udah lulus dengan nilai A++ :D

I don't know if this moment created by Him to answer my question..is she the one??

Hatred...

is it okay to hate someone...when that person is good enough to be hate...?

because that person is capable to do something that make us hate...

because that person is not realize that he/she doing things that could make us hate him/her...

i dont know is there something wrong with me or with that person..all i know is i cannot stop hate that person....maybe someday...but not today...not now...

11 September 2006

MET ULTAH, SMOGA.....AMIN
(echi)

Happy B'day AB,
(from NE+AR)

Met hari lahir rief, semoga hidup makin sukses dan banyak berkah, enteng rizki, jodoh dan diberikan ketenangan serta petunjuk yang benar+kekuatan mengikutinya
(LBA+kel)

Ketika detik membilang menit, sang hari mewujud ke dalam tahun kehidupan penuh harapan. Ucapkan puji syukur tulus ke Hadirat Allah SWT. Selamat Ulang Tahun. Semoga tumbuh menjadi insan TERPUJI = Tulus, Empatik, Rendah Hati, Pandai, Ulet, Jujur dan Inklusif.
(Salam Persaudaraan dari Keluarga Imam Budiawan).

Met ulang tahun, moga panjang umur dan di mudahkan jodoh, rezekinya lancar, amin.
(mas Ras).

Hepi berdey tumi(2x)... Hepi bertdey2x...Hepi bertdey tumi...-met ultah be, sori lu mst nyanyi sendr, gw lg serak soale,biasa,manggung 17-an ;)
(wq)

Abeeee. Happy bday, semoga selamat n bahagia lahir batin, dunia n akhirat. Hmmm, sisa usia kt brp ya? Semoga usia yang tersisa membawa manfaat, menjadikan kita sebagai manusia yang lebih baik, dicintai Allah n dsayang sesama, etc etc
(lily)

Happy birthday Pak. Sukses selalu, karirnya meningkat & berumah tangga. Selalu dlm lindungan Tuhan YME
(mbak Evi Sunlife)

Gara gara perayaan wtc gw jadi telat bangun neh tapi gw nggak lupa kok, met ultah bro semoga makin berkah aja sisa umur loe dan tentunya terjawab pertanyaan loe semua dan terkabul keinginan lo yak :o)
(adri)

Halo om, kt ayah hari ini ulang taun ya? Hapy bday ya Om, moga tambah banyak rezekinya, lancar karirnya, tambah dkt sama Allah biar cepet dikasih jodoh. Amin. Riza & Rifa.
(indy)

Be ulang tahun loe? Happy birthday. May all the best things in life be yours, bro.
(jogi)

Manajemen Plaza Blok M mengucapkan Selamat Ulang Tahun, semoga panjang umur dan sukses.
(Plaza Blok M)

makan mihun sama gado-gado
selamat ulang tahun, maaf gak ada kado.
(Do-i)

semoga panjang jodoh, panjang rezeki, eh salah semoga cepat mendapatkan tambatan hati, cepat menikah dan punya momongan.
(Mami)

Dear AB
Met Ultah ya, panjang umur sehat selalu, rejekinya ngucur terus dan selalu memberi berkah buat sekitar dan yang paling penting lagi
Semoga cepet dapet jodoh ya. Amin…..
(mbak Endang AIS)

mas happy birthday...............yyyyy sukses yy n di tunggu nih traktirannya heeeeeeeeee by sitie klo g hp nokia jg gpp pengganti traktiran heeeeeeeee
,maaf y jangan didengerin siti mang seneng becanda..hee hee
tp rie doain semoga di usianya mas ab yg sekarang mas dikasih kemudahan ma 4JJI buat mencapai semua yg mas ab
inginkan..N + rajin ibadahnya y mas....good luck 4 u
(rie operator)

selamat ultah Nong, makan3x dong
(indra gokil)

MET ULTAH YE MAS AB....
Moga22: selalu dalam lindungan Allah SWT
tetep jadi orang yang bae hati&sabar
selalu sukses &ditunggu segera undangannya oke,...
Amiiin
(feny)

Dear Mas Arief
Trimakasih Dim Sum nya Mas.....
Panjang umur banyak rejeki and cepet mariage ya......biar bagi2 lagi.....
Tapi ngomong2 anak2 AIS pada nanya nih belinya dimana ???
Bisa kasih tau kan....
(mbak Ratna)

B, met ultah ya. Sukses & bahagia trus.
(CA)

Hppy bday yach..Wish u have a very good life..Sory telat ngucapinnya abis lg kurang fit belakangan ini jadi suka ga peduli hari :)
(Reva)

Last Night SMS...

"Hi abe...thank you! Duh kok gue makin ngerasa lo itu kyk soulmate gw bgt ya? Hehehe ...."

>Waks..kok bisa? Wong cuma nganter box hp doang kok..heheheh..

"Hmm...mgk lo seorg pengantar box yg dikirim Tuhan buat jd soulmate gw. Halah....! Btw elo sedih gak sih dg komitmen kita yg cm jd tmn kyk skrg? Jujur ya be..."

Wah gue seneng banget dapet SMS dari dia...gileee dia ngerasa gue soulmate dia...wuiiihhh seneng banget...!!

To tell you the truth how much i want to be your more than just best friend...tapi gue sampe saat ini belum bisa entah kenapa your background with him bugging me so much...kedekatan loe dengan dia...gak tau ..currently gue belom bisa proposed loe utk lebih dari sekedar temen..gue gak mau nyakitin elo..gue takut banget ketika gue jadi co loe gue akan menjadi orang yang sangat menyebalkan dan sangat nyakitin hati loe...

Ya 4JJI bimbinglah hambaMu ini dalam mengambil keputusan tolong ya 4JJI....please...please....please *sigh*...

This is it....

Hari ini akhirnya dia cerita semua mengenai rencana dia dan semua kondisi dia sekarang...fiuhhh she told me that she gonna married in this december....

I really thankful to 4JJI, He finally answer my prayer... Oh God i really2 bow to you...like my friends said "kita gak pernah bisa tahu bagaimana caranya 4JJI memberikan jalan buat kita dalam kehidupan ini...pokoknya tau2 Dia memberikan mu yang terbaik..."

Fiuhh...finally i can breathe freely... :)

We'll see....

Today is the B day...i dont know what will happen between me and her this afternoon....I hope its doing normal...but i really dont know...well we'll see....

We'll see...

We'll see.....

We'll see.......

The only way...

Temen gue baru aja nanyain gimana kejadian yang kemarin? and suddenly this intriguing me and all of my feeling to become hurt again....

Susah...asli susah banget...ketika kedua kaki kita salah satunya harus berada di profesionalisme dan satunya lagi di perasaan kita.

And you know what, it happened to me 2 days ago....ketika dia minta query ke tim gue tanpa sepengetahuan gue, padahal kita udah sepakat utk selalu ngasih tau and do better communication...and guess what dia break rule tsb!! tapi kenapa gue yang harus nanggung??..kenapa kesannya jadi gue yang salah??gue gak tau apa dia masih pake "background" dia sehingga dia gak ngasih tau gue tentang query itu in a first place?? yeah maybe dia ngerasa kayak gitu...emang sih to be fair gue juga belum bisa ngelupain dia..tapi bukannya kita berdua harus profesional...bukannya kita harus bisa ngilangin perasaan kita when we dealt for office matters??kenapa sih dia selalu ngelakuin hal2 yang bikin gue tambah benci ke dia..bikin gue nge-doa-in dia yang jelek2...naudzubillah...ya 4JJI lindungilah aku dari penyakit hati ini.....*sigh*deep breath*very deep breath*....

Again, gue harus bisa ngalahin rasa emosi, sakit hati, ngelupain background gue yang dulu pernah gue alamin ama dia....tapi ya 4JJI kenapa sangat berat utk bisa lepas dari belenggu rasa sakit ini...
Ya 4JJI kenapa aku belum bisa utk meng-ikhlaskan semua, kenapa aku masih memendam rasa benci ini, kenapa saya harus terus menerus melumuri jiwaku dengan penyakit hati ini...*kenapa*kenapa*kenapa*

Hhhhhhh..... Ya 4JJI kuatkanlah diriku ini utk bisa terus berjalan di jalan-Mu...hanya Engkau-lah yang bisa mendengarkan kegundahan hati ini...aku benar2 memohon kepada-Mu ya 4JJI utk selalu menemani kesepian hatiku ini...

Terlintas langsung ingat doa ketenangan yang pernah temen gue kasih ke gue...

"Ya 4JJI aku mohonkan padaMu jiwa yang tenang tentram yang percaya pada pertemuan dengan Mu dan ridho atas keputusan-Mu serta merasa cukup puas dengan pemberian-Mu...."

Fiuuuuhhhh....suddenly i feel very relief.....but still don't know sampe kapan gue akan kayak gini terus....
Sound pesimis? emang sih...but to tell you the truth gue totally blank how to deal with my own feeling....

Just hope that tomorrow will be better and brighter...waks!!! oh iya...langsung gue inget..."Sesungguhnya setelah kesulitan akan datang kemudahan...." dan gue percaya that it will happen to me too.... I just have to put my hopes in Him...

Strength!!.....be strong!!....be positive!!

And I know the only way is: Ikhlas...Ikhlas...Ikhlas...(*but why its so hard to do ....*)

Finally....hhhhhh......(sigh)...

Hehehe...finally gue akhirnya memutuskan buat blog juga....well its a start..hope this will getting better in the future.

Hhhhh...maybe this will become the start of my journey and who knows this will become my written history and can change the future...huehuehue...daleeeemmmm banget yak...!!

Jujur, gue kegoda utk buat blog ini gara2 gue baca blog temen gue...yang isinya itu bagus banget...dan gue suka banget dengan gaya dia nulis nyeritain semua kejadian yang dialami di hidupnya... :-) terus gue pikir kenapa gue gak buat juga..itung2 gue bisa tumpahin segala macam unek2 gue yang lagi gue rasain... Thanks to **** yang udah memberikan inspirasi ini buat gue... I know you know it... ;-) and the credit goes to you...

Well I think this is it for now...and this will become the first page of all my pages life...




*release your misery and always be positive!!*